In honor of my new blog title (Monkey Poop: A Weblog of Unparalleled Eloquence), I have composed an excellent story which readers will enjoy and reflect upon for years to come.
Once upon a time, in a deep, dark jungle, there was a little monkey named Oo-ee-oo-oo-oo-ee-oo. He was a bad monkey. His breath smelled like cheese. Not good cheese, bad stinky cheese (even though there wasn’t any cheese to be eaten in the deep, dark jungle).
One day when Oo-ee-oo-oo-oo-ee-oo was picking nits and putting them on other monkey’s heads, the king of the monkeys approached him.
“I say, old chap,” said King William of Orange-You-Glad-I-Didn’t-Say-Banana (King Banana for short). “It has come to my attention that you have been a very bad monkey.”
“Have I?” asked Oo-ee-oo-oo-oo-ee-oo.
“Oh.” Oo-ee-oo-oo-oo-ee-oo scratched his armpit. “Okay, I guess I’ll stop.”
“Good,” King William of Banana said. “And please brush your teeth. It smells like cheese.”