“No offense, but…”: The book review every writer is afraid they will get

Words ripped from my heart

All this talk on various blogs about whether or not writers should be posting negative book reviews has got me thinking about my own fears as a writer. It’s so scary putting your work out there. What if people hate it?

So I thought–why not write out what exactly I’m afraid of? Below is just a snippet of what my nightmare book review would look like. What would yours look like?

—-

Dear Amazing Author:

No offense, but I just finished reading your book and man was it bad. I mean REALLY bad. I can’t believe you wasted five years of your life on that drivel. The only reason I made it through the whole thing is that I couldn’t BELIEVE anyone had actually published it. Your main character (who, by the way, shares a name with my best friend’s new pet rattlesnake), seemed like a whiny brat. Why would anyone care what she thinks? I sure didn’t. I really wish you had chosen a different main character.

No, scratch that. I don’t think any of the other characters are any better. I’m pretty sure you stole them all from J.K. Rowling and J.R.R. Tolkein or someone else with better initials than yours. Not to mention that the plot that you probably thought was so original has been done a million times before.

Only better.

I saw all the twists and turns coming–it didn’t help that some of them were on the book jacket. Or that the whole thing was based on your life. What…you thought no one would notice? Come on, face it. Anyone can see that the real reason your main character doesn’t have parents is because of your deep seated anger toward your own. There’s no way you would have written it that way otherwise. Because you obviously don’t have much of an imagination based on what I’ve read.

And don’t get me started on your dialogue. How unrealistic can you get? No one talks that way in real life and I’m not sure anyone would want them to.

Anyway, I hope the bookstore accepts returns. Good luck trying to get your next book published!

Yours faithfully,

Fan Girl

Image Credit: Words ripped from my heart by Chapendra, on Flickr

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Friday Library Trip: Mommy’s picks and Baby’s picks

My 1-year-old and I went to the library today. She ran around, choosing books at random, while I went through and looked at them carefully. Eventually, she sat and flipped through a few of the books she had strewn on the floor (Sorry librarians! Don’t hate me!). We took home a couple of her favorites and a few of mine.

Mommy’s picks:

Brown Rabbit in the City by Natalie Russell: I loved this author’s previous book, Moon Rabbit and wanted to check this one out.

On Mother’s Lap by Ann Herbert Scott, illustrated by Glo Coalson: I loved the illustrations and the repetitive, soothing text. Looked like a good bedtime read (and indeed it was helpful during naptime).

Pooh (Giant Board Book) inspired by A. A. Milne, illustrations by Ernest H. Shepard: A Pooh-shaped board book! How cute is that? Though I have to admit that I was more drawn to this book than she was since she doesn’t really know about Pooh yet.

Baby’s picks:

My Dog, Buddy (Scholastic Reader Level 2) by David Milgrim: She likes dogs, what can I say?

Duck & Goose, 1, 2, 3 by Tad Hills: She also loves ducks.

How Little Lori Visited Times Square written by Amos Vogel, pictures by Maurice Sendak: She also picked out this book (I think because it is a small book and was easy to pull of the shelf) but I didn’t end up checking it out for fear that she’d tear it to pieces. Worth taking a look at though for older kids because of the absolutely hilarious ending.

I’m hoping to make library visits with the baby a weekly thing, but we all know what happens when you have a baby and try to make plans. :P

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Book review: Love That Dog by Sharon Creech

Loved that book! (okay, obvious line)

I got this book as a Christmas present, and it looked like a quick read, so I read it out loud with my husband while I was supposed to be reading two other books. Love That Dog is a story told through short poems written by a young boy as an assignment for class. While the course and conclusion of the book is fairly predictable, the content itself is cute, funny, and poignant. It actually made me want to start reading (and writing?) poetry. And maybe even (*gasp*) buy a book of poetry to read for fun! I’m sure this was part of the author’s purpose in writing this book–something which would have annoyed me had I not liked the book so darn much.

Can’t wait to read the sequel (Hate That Cat). I’m also curious to read the author’s picture books and her Newbery Award winning book, Walk Two Moons.

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Ambiguous Endings: Brilliant or Lazy?

Due to the nature of this blogpost, there will be spoilers for The Giver and for Inception (the movie). So consider yourself forewarned.

I recently saw Inception for the second time and it made me think again about ambiguous endings. At the end of Inception, the filmmaker doesn’t say specifically what happens in. We’re left wondering: Did the main character get home? Or was he still dreaming?

I found myself looking for “clues”, like “The top stopped spinning in this segment but not that segment!” or “The character keeps talking about how to tell dreams from reality, is that meant to be ironic?” I just wanted to find out what the “real answer” was. But when I found out there was no answer, that it was meant to just be ambiguous, I couldn’t decide whether I was disappointed or not.

Similarly in Lois Lowry’s The Giver, we are left scratching our heads in the end. Does Jonas survive? Does he make it to a new home? And if so, is it a good home? And my initial reaction to this ambiguity was a negative one, but now I can’t quite decide. Why should the author spell it out? Shouldn’t the reader be left with something to think about?

Here’s what Lowry has to say about the ending:

I will say that I find it an optimistic ending. How could it not be an optimistic ending, a happy ending, when that house is there with its lights on and music is playing? So I’m always kind of surprised and disappointed when some people tell me that they think that the boy and the baby just die. I don’t think they die. What form their new life takes is something I like people to figure out for themselves. And each person will give it a different ending.

When writing my own stories, I have to say I find the endings the hardest to write. They have to be satisfying yet not too wrapped-up (or you can’t ever write a sequel!), slower paced than the climax, but not so slow that the reader ends up skimming the whole thing just to finish (which I have done with a lot of books). So I’ve struggled with the deciding what to leave ambiguous and what to spell out.

In some ways an ambiguous ending seems like it would be much easier to write. Having trouble deciding whether your main character gets married or not? Just leave it ambiguous! You don’t have to figure out what happens to your characters in the end, you can just leave it up to everyone else to decide.

Here’s what the filmmaker (Christopher Nolan) says about Inception’s ending:

“I’ve been asked the question more times than I’ve ever been asked any other question about any other film I’ve made,” he says. “What’s funny to me is that people really do expect me to answer it.”

Nolan adds that he tries to leave his movies open to interpretation. “There can’t be anything in the film that tells you one way or another because then the ambiguity at the end of the film would just be a mistake,” he says. “It would represent a failure of the film to communicate something. But it’s not a mistake. I put that cut there at the end, imposing an ambiguity from outside the film. That always felt the right ending to me.”

The real point of the scene, he explains, is that Cobb is looking at his kids and not the top. “He’s left it behind,” says Nolan. “That’s the emotional significance of the thing.”

How do you know when an ambiguous ending is the “right ending” for your story and not just the lazy way out? (And I do think your readers will be able to tell the difference!)

I guess it’s like any other plot point or word choice in your story, you just have to go with your gut, leave it up to your divine inspiration, your muse, your critique partners, whatever. In other words, I’m leaving you with an ambiguous end to this blog post. Because it just feels right.

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New Year WIP Updates

My writing and my parenting seem to be taking over my ability to churn out blog posts. Huh. Didn’t see that one coming.

So I thought I’d do a quick update on my various writing projects (I’m feeling a little reticent to share, so you’ll have to guess which ones I’m talking about :) ):

Book #1: A reader recently gave me some very useful feedback and I’m going through again and revising the crap out of this novel. Hopefully for the better, but we’ll see.

Book #2: My co-author is revising this one as we speak. She’s busy with a full-time (non-writing) job, so it’s been a while since I’ve gotten it back. I should probably email her with a deadline, but I’m so busy with my other projects that I’m letting her take her time.

Book #3: I’m really excited about my new story. I’ve gotten a lot of it figured out, have a fairly good outline, but have a bit more research to do before I start cranking out more chapters.

My critique group went on a writing retreat a few weeks ago and it was just the boost I needed to get going for the new year! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for my characters in 2011!

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Book Review: Trickster’s Choice by Tamora Pierce (spoilers!)

Trickster’s Choice by Tamora Pierce

This book is about a girl named Aly who wants to be a spy. Her parents (Alanna and George from The Song of the Lioness Quartet) think this is too dangerous, so Aly runs away and ends up getting captured and taken into slavery. She plans her escape but then Kyprioth the Trickster God makes a deal with her: keep two princesses alive until the end of the summer and he will help her get home. I’m too lazy to tie my notes together into paragraph form, so here is a list of pros and cons.

What I liked:

-Compelling storyline (once you get past the first few chapters, see below)
-Well thought out world
-Main character Aly has a strong voice. You feel like you know her really well.
-I like that the gods are really real. that the superstitions people have are based on fact for their world. that religious people can’t be looked down upon because, well, the gods are real and we see them.
-Love the hilarious crow man (didn’t buy him as a love interest, not because of the species thing, but because he doesn’t come across as intelligent)
-Love Kyprioth the Trickster God.

What I didn’t like:

-Really disliked the first chapter. I didn’t like the hair turning blue premise which felt anachronistic to me in a weird way. But I see why the author did this. I also didn’t like how the getting captured was glossed over. But I guess the book was long enough and this wasn’t really the crux of the story.

-Aly is kind of annoying. She is good at everything. child-rearing, tracking, politics, controlling her emotions, controlling how she is perceived, good with knives, good at seeing magic, etc. etc. She doesn’t take anything seriously enough and everything seems like a game to her. No one in the book can compete with her intellect, except for maybe Kyprioth and Aly’s father. I do like that for once it’s a girl who is smarter than everyone else unlike other fantasy novels I’ve read.
-I didn’t like how the race issues were treated in the book. I liked that she had brown skinned people (the aka), but didn’t like that it felt like real world issues with names changed to make it “fantasy” (the “luarin” treat the “raka” poorly because of the color of their skin). The author didn’t bring anything new to the table with this, and because of this, it almost felt like she was reinforcing the stereotypes: even in a fantasy world where you can make up whatever you want, brown-skinned people are treated poorly. No one else in my critique group felt this way, so maybe I’m being overly sensitive when she at least had multi-cultural characters in the story. However, she didn’t successfully make the raka feel like regular people to me, because she was constantly other-ing them by describing people as “raka”, or “native” rather than as just men or women and then describing their appearance. I guess it makes sense since the main character was a luarin who’d never met Raka before, but, it still rubbed me the wrong way. (And there is an unfortunate scene where Aly rubs brown sap on her face to “blend in”…very un-PC as well as unrealistic)
-I also wish that the main character actually experienced real slavery and had some appreciation for how terrible it is so that she didn’t feel like a white woman swooping in to save the poor brown people. Aly was overly lucky to get a nice family. All she had to do was get beaten up in the beginning! Now why on earth did no one else ever think of this? Instead, I think TP should have chosen one of the half-raka girls as a main character so that Aly’s role wouldn’t have felt so important to the whole thing and the “white person swooping in” thing wouldn’t be an issue.

All in all, this is a worthwhile read for Tamora Pierce fans, and for writers who want to read a book with multicultural characters to make their own decisions about whether it was done successfully or not.

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My Reading Stats for 2010

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about anything. I’ve written a whole bunch of blog posts in my head, but unfortunately, none of them actually made it to the computer, which means I don’t remember a one of them. Oops.

So I thought I’d get the ball rolling again by doing an easy post about my book numbers for 2010 (here’s last year’s). I got my Kindle 2 in February 2009 and since then, I have definitely been converted to e-books. I looove e-books. I do like p-books (i.e. physical books) now and then, mostly for those that look really pretty or have lots of nice pictures (graphic novels, picture books, board books), but when I want to read a novel, I always check and see if I can get a copy of the e-book from the library first.

I got an iPad for my birthday this year, and I kind of wondered whether my Kindle would be phased out, but no. I have yet to read any books on my iPad. Just as I suspected, I really don’t like reading on a backlit LCD screen. If I wanted to do that, I would read all my books on my laptop. (I did read a magazine though. I really enjoyed the free copy of Intelligent Life that I downloaded from the App Store. I was willing to pay for a subscription too, but alas, I couldn’t figure out how to do it in less than a minute so I didn’t bother.)

Here are my reading stats for 2010:

Total books read: 49 (not including all of the picture and board books I’ve read with my daughter over and over and over again).

Of those, the # that were e-books: 12 (+1 that I purchased as an e-book after reading a physical copy from the library)

Of those e-books, the # I purchased (or was given as a gift) from Amazon: 2  <–I suspect this number will be larger this year since I recieved some e-books for Xmas.

# of p-books I purchased/received and read: 9 (+1 that I read in 2009 but bought a copy of in 2010)

Hmm. I’m not sure what to conclude from these totals. Other than wow, I sure do get a lot of books from the library! And despite the fact that I prefer e-books, I still mostly read p-books because I am cheap. I read too much to buy every single book I want to read. My conclusion I guess is: gee I wish the library had more e-books!

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Monkey See Monkey Read

I’m taking another vacation from my blog. So here’s a cute picture from flickr (photo by SimonWhitaker) to tide you over.

Monkey sitting on books

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Biased Review of a Fabulous Essay: From Words to Brain by Livia Blackburne

From Words to Brain by Livia Blackburne

What happens when you read? How does your brain derive meaning from words on a page? My writing buddy Livia, attempts to answer these questions by explaining some of the latest in neuroscience research in a way that will interest science buffs, writers, and readers alike (not that these groups are mutually exclusive :) ).  I may be biased because Livia is my friend (and I got to read and comment on some of the early versions!) but this is a highly fascinating read.

Definitely worth buying.

The link above goes to Amazon, but you can check out other places to buy the essay over at the publisher’s website.

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My Favorite New-to-Me Children’s Books for 2010

Here are my favorite new-to-me children’s books this year, in order by author. Last year, I used Indiebound for this list, but for some unknown reason they deleted my account (?). Since then, I’ve been using Amazon Marketplace.

(Interesting that four of the authors have last names that start with L…)

My reviews:
Feed by MT Anderson
Going Bovine by Libba Bray
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
The Giver by Lois Lowry
Uglies by Scott Westerfield

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